Meet my little sister, Elizabeth. There is something unique and special about being sisters. We’ve shared bedrooms, clothes, secrets and the same faith in Christ. My sister is an encourager, a person who sees the very best in you. Because of her graciousness, there are things only she can tell me. Growing up, Liz could share the same advice as my parents but for some reason, the words sounded different coming from her (Sorry mom and dad). There isn’t anything about my life my sister doesn’t know and in my longing for a child, she has seen my best and my very worst.
During a time that bitterness and anger had settled in my heart, I couldn’t talk about our struggle without those feelings creeping up. Liz began to ask me a question:
“Why do you think God has you going through this?”
It was a question I didn’t want to think about and certainly didn’t want to answer. Answering that question, meant having to deal with my sin – to look at my life and see what God was trying to show me about myself and about Him. It meant dealing with the sins of entitlement – feeling that I deserved to be a mom, jealousy – for others who were able to get pregnant and control – wanting my plan, my way. So I avoided the question, angrily telling Liz that I just didn’t know. For awhile, it was easier to sit in anger. Easier to pout and think, “It’s not fair” that we have go through this. Conversation after conversation, Liz would listen to me, she would encourage and love me, but then she would continue to ask that question and continue to point me to Christ.
The Lord used Liz to help me deal with the ugliness of sin and see the goodness that only comes from God. He used her words, her encouragement and kind heart to push me to Him. He used her as a tool to help me realize that being a mom and having a child won’t satisfy me. In the end, only Christ is all and He is enough.
My sweet sis turned 25 yesterday. During our phone conversation, she said, “I feel like I should be more grown-up, more adult now.” Oh sister, you are wise beyond your years. I’m thankful everyday for your love, friendship and faithfulness.
I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:5-6
