Little White Table

Craig and I recently purchased new phones and I had to transfer all my information over to the new one. As I was going through my photos, deciding which pictures to transfer, I found this one of our old kitchen table:



We received this table as a wedding present and it was the only brand new item in our first apartment. Everything else was mismatched treasures found in garage sales, saved from our college days or given to us by our parents. But this small white table was the one thing that was new. And I loved it! Even though four people couldn’t fit around it without bumping elbows, I still loved it. I served my husband the first meal I had ever cooked on that table. I also served him the first meal I ever burned on that table, too.

When I look at this picture, I’m reminded of our first year of marriage and how the Lord graciously provided for us during that time. Times when we didn’t know how the bills were going to be paid, times when the amount we owed was the exact amount we had, when our car broke down and someone just gave us one. Blessed memories of how God gave us more than we deserved over and over. This picture reminds me of how much we depended on the Lord then and how much we need to depend on Him now. Even in our current struggle, God has made His presence known. He has provided friends and family to love us and pray for us. He is with us, daily providing us with strength, hope and love.

By the way, my little white table has a new home with our brother and sister-in-law. I hope they will also make many memories around that table.

Because so many have asked…

“When are you guys going to have a kid?”

We get asked some form of this question at least once every two weeks. Either from family or friends anxiously hoping that the time is soon or from complete strangers who are just curious. I guess by four years of marriage, most young couples have had at least one child.

The truth isn’t that we don’t want a child. In fact, we desperately long for one. Unfortunately, wanting something doesn’t mean it’s going to be given to you. This month, this week marks a year of trying. One year filled with hope, sorrow and many, many tears.

I would love to say that I have handled this struggle with patience and unwavering faith but I haven’t. There have been many times when it’s been easier to respond with anger and sadness. This struggle has cut me to the core and brought forth the sins that lay deepest inside my heart –selfishness, pride and my need for control.

Selfishness, because I continually want more. God has given me all that I have asked for and so many blessings that I never even imagined. Yet with all these blessings, I want more. I look at what God has given me and I tell Him, it’s not enough.

Pride, in how I feel that somehow I deserve a child. That I have lived a good life, been a good person, made good decisions and now this gift needs to be granted to me. In my head, I list out all the things I have done that make me worthy to have a baby but my heart knows that no deed, no thought, no amount of human goodness will equal a child.

My need for control…oh this could be a book of it’s own. I plan my life like a time-line and up until now, everything has gone according to my perfectly mapped-out plan. Now, life is not working out exactly the way I planned it. I can’t see the path God has for me and not having control scares me.

The growing awareness of my sin has made me more in awe of God’s grace and goodness. My faith in the Lord has kept me from falling into depression or wallowing in anger. He has provided sweet reminders of His love and goodness throughout this entire year. Whether it’s through the love and support of friends and family or knowledge from doctors and nurses, His peace has covered us. Even the summer rain this morning as I drove to a doctor’s appointment was a reminder of His presence. So we continue to pray, knowing there may be more tears along the way, but we have hope in a God who is faithful and steadfast in love.

Happy 25th

Today is Craig's 25th birthday, so I thought I would share 25 things that I love about my hubby! Warning -- PDA is displayed :)

I LOVE...
1. that you make the best grilled cheese
2. when you hum along to the radio or a TV commercial without realizing it
3. that you love sports (even though you do cheer for some of the wrong teams)
4. how passionate you are about your job
5. that you are the financially responsible one in the relationship
6. the way your love your family
7. how you talk with your hands when you are really excited about a topic
8. that you let me sing in the car as loud as I want
9. that you are cleaner than me (seriously)
10. the way you to make much of God and not of yourself
11. how your mind figures out the most efficient way of doing anything
12. the way you hold my hand when I'm wearing high heels
13. the way you love my family
14. that you eat Mexican food like a real Mexican
15. that even though I go to bed hours before you, you still tuck me in and kiss me good-night
16. that you teach me about duel dampers and curb adapters
17. how you make drinking Dr. Pepper look so good
18. how you look when you mow the lawn -- so sexy!
19. that you plan for our future
20. that you feign interest in shows like Gilmore Girls because you know I like them
21. how you make history seem so interesting
22. how you make me laugh til I cry
23. your endless supply of patience with me
24. that you always help me with housework
25. the way you selflessly love me

Happy Birthday Babe!

Previously on the Northcutts...

So not posting a blog since November = pretty sad. My husband constantly asks, "Why do we even have a blog?" Truth is, I like having a blog and aspire to be faithful blogger one day. I keep thinking the blogging bug will just hit me and I will post at least once a week. (Right now, I would just be happy with once a month). In the mean time, I will try to be better about blogging.

Time for a little recap. Let's pretend this like the TV show you faithfully watched and then suddenly lost interest. Now, you are getting back into watching it and need a recap. So previously on The Northcutts:

December 10: Craig's graduation
The day finally arrived! Such a great day seeing my man accomplish this goal.






December 25: Christmas
Spending the holiday with my entire Mexican family. Yes, all Mexican families are this big :)




Craig winning our cookie decorating contest. Yours truly came in 2nd. The Northcutts always bring their A game.


The winning cookie! Someone needs to tell Martha about his amazing talent.


January:
First time in our entire marriage that one of us is not in school!!!

February:
Our house in the making


March:
Our last full month in the apartment!


April 4: Moving Day!


New home-owners

A BIG UPDATE!

This weekend we signed the papers to start building our first house! We had seen an area in Denton a few months ago that we really liked and last week we decided to go check it out. By Saturday morning we were ready to sign. Here some pics of us making the deal:

Signing our life away :)


There were LOTS of papers to sign!


Putting the SOLD sticker on the map!


Our dirt lot!




This lot is now SOLD!




We are so excited about our new house. We've already picked out cabinets, counter tops and floors. Now it just needs to get built! I'm sure there will be many more posts about our house-in-progress.

First Day of School!

Bright and VERY EARLY Monday morning, I headed out to Vickery Elementary in Lewisville to start my first day of work. Craig got up early to make my breakfast and pack my lunch -- I almost thought he was going to pull out a camera and take the "first day pic." I'm really enjoying my job and am already loving the kids. Here's are my favorite kid moments from this week:

At lunch on Monday, a second grader asks me what my name is. I tell him, "Mrs. Northcutt" and he says. "Whoa, that's like a direction and ... scissors!"

At the end of the day on Wednesday, I was in the cafeteria helping dismiss kids and I sat down at the kindergarten table to talk to a student. Another little girl looks at me and asks her teacher if "Mrs. Northcutt is waiting for her mommy pick her up, too." Her teacher laughs and says "Does Mrs. Northcutt look like a kindergartner?" The little girl thinks it over and says, "She could be an older one." I guess my anti-aging cream is really working!

I'm sure there will be many more fun moments with my kids!

Summer Lovin'

Long time no blog! Well, I do have a couple reasons for not updating this sooner.

Reason #1. This summer has been BUSY with lots of weddings, trips and family time.

Reason #2: My computer has lost all my pictures! Well... not lost exactly, just disappeared into the black hole that is my hard drive. It takes forever to hunt down pictures and I haven't had the energy to go digging for something that used to be so easily accessible. I know I could have posted blogs without pics but I tend to have the five-year-old mentality that stories are better when accompanied by pictures.

So, I am posting about the only pictures I have -- the babies I take of! Who doesn't love some cute baby pictures? These pics are from their first birthday party.

Waiting for their cakes and their first time to eat sugar!


Sweet Girl!

Things I love about Laine:
1. She laughs and smiles all the time.
2. She loves to hear songs -- even when I sing them way off key.
3. She eats her food like a polite little lady -- one piece at a time.
4. She bounces up and down when she gets excited.
5. She is the most easy going and laid back baby I've ever taken care of -- she rarely gets upset.

Lil man!

Things I love about Will
1. He likes to make his sister and me laugh.
2. He has this adventurous nature -- he crawls over everything including Laine and me. Nothing gets in his way!
3. He likes to have his bottom patted when he goes to sleep.
4. He crawls up to me and puts his head in my lap.
5. He likes to snuggle when he wakes up from a nap.

Happy Birthday Will and Laine!