Striving to change

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. -Proverbs 19:21

I have always been a creature of habit. I cling to the familiar and find security in routines. There are many times that I want to be flexible -- I long to be one of those people that just go and do whatever God calls them to do but I shy away from changes. I am your typical type A person. I love my planner and take great delight in my "calendar time" when I can fill it out. I like to look at my calendar and know what is coming up in the month. I have always been a planner. I like knowing what to expect in life. I don't live my life moment to moment; I live it years at a time. I constantly plan five years ahead in my life. Sometimes I don't even know when I am planning ahead. When Craig and I got married, I just instinctively figured out where we would live after we graduated, what our house would look like, when we would have kids, where our kids would go to school, etc. Then Craig felt called to change jobs and go back to work at The Village Church. I was so happy, The Village has been such a big part of our lives and it's where our families were but I couldn't help thinking that this job change would completely change my life plan. We would have to look for somewhere else to live, I would have look for jobs in a new area and what about the schools for our kids? Instead of gladly following God's plan, I was upset that it didn't match up with my plan. Then I realized how much I cling to the life that I dream for myself and how selfish I am for chasing my plan instead of God's. Now that Craig has started his new job, I can see why God had him switch and why we were supposed to leave our other church. Sometimes I can be so blinded to the life that God has in store for me. I am learning that no matter how much I plan, God can change our life at any moment and I have to be willing follow. So every day I pray that God break my "planning spirit" so my life can reflect His purpose.